09.10.23.
Fuck the algorithm
Control. Realness.
I have always put so much pressure on my self-worth, feeling pressure to prove myself and my creativity to others.
When I love, share, from the heart, not from needing to prove anything, I feel alive. I am proud.
I am amazing at what I do. I know this, so why does putting myself out there rattle me to the core? Am I afraid?
If you know me, I am an open book. Vulnerable, raw, and oh so real. If you don’t know me, you are welcome too.
When I get lost in comparison, competitiveness, and opinions, my soul screams.
I feel it throughout my entire nervous system.
I shake, I say things that aren't me, I cry, I hide, I drink, I am exhausted. It’s beyond uncomfortable.
I recently pushed myself, again, and felt the pressures of society overcome me.
This time I knew to retreat, turn inward, and breathe. My home became calm again.
The light began to shine once again. I smile.
So, I again embrace deep into my natal chart.
Embrace my North and South nodes, my challenges and my purpose.
I have ‘been there and done that’ in my past lives, and it was lonely at the top.
My North node in Leo in the fourth house expresses that this soul experience is about family, home, kindness,
and above all else, love. My peace, my calm.
Although I can feel tempted at times to go out and prove myself in the world of career and public life, for which I have a natural affinity,
the discomfort reminds me that I am here now to nurture my immediate community of friends and family.
I adore nurturing my design and astrology communities too.
This is my greatest fulfillment, this time around.
​
Add Jupiter & Mars opposing my moon, my capacity for creativity, inspiration and imagination directs my reality.
I tap in to other peoples energies, how they feel about me and what’s expected of me. But fuck that, I have to be me as an individual.
Thankfully, a lot of force in my chart makes this happen.
Oh and let’s not even talk about my Chiron in Taurus in the 1st house - some other time hey.
It hasn’t been easy stepping aside, accepting this, and loving myself. But oh, so worth it.
My natal chart is propelling me to break away from norms and expectations.
I am to be more and express more of myself as an individual.
The more I am tapped into my way of seeing things, what I am feeling, the more I can be a conduit and
bring through all of beauty.
Solitude has been my saviour, a fucken scary saviour, but the most precious.
I must experience myself alone.
This is my journey, and the only soul I need acceptance from is my own.
I am.
I love you.
​
06.09.24
I was triggered today, a sharp sting,
Mid walk, far from home,
A pub's light beckoned, a comforting thing,
I stepped in, no longer alone.
I ordered a wine, a rare little treat,
Asked for a pen and some paper to share,
As the pen hit the page, my thoughts found their beat,
Anger erupted, then reason laid bare.
Perspective emerged, like a whisper from deep,
And love wrapped around all that came through,
Twenty minutes passed, in this quiet sweep,
I hadn't touched wine, but I felt something new.
The waiter returned, with a grin and surprise,
My paper was full on both sides, it seemed,
He brought me a clipboard, my thoughts in the skies,
“Welcome to my mind,” I laughed, as I dreamed.
Guided by currents, in trust I now swim,
No wrong turns in sight, just the flow of the day,
Decoys may distract, but I rise on a whim,
Trust in the journey, let love lead the way.
​
always, flow
​
xM
​
20.08.24
In my late thirties, wildness awoke,
One night stands, the laughter and smoke.
A year of chaos, a dance with the night,
Then a love, two and a half years, felt right.
But the wild called again, six months of thrill,
Yet, in the silence, I found my own will.
a year celibate, strong and free, loving me truly
Reclaiming my power, it’s beautiful to be.
Those wild times, reflections of pain,
Insecurities masked, I wore like a chain.
I thought it was bold, to love and to roam,
Yet both left me hollow, far from my home.
Ex-husband, I made him wait,
Ex-boyfriend, I fell, sealed my fate.
Yet both took my energy, left me to bleed,
Now I guard what’s precious, plant my own seed.
Ain’t no one taking what isn’t deserved,
In this empowered place, I’ve finally emerged.
I stand with my truth, fierce and alive,
No longer a shadow, I flourish, I thrive.
14.02.24
in the spaces between lines, been there
witnessed the hues, the shadows
the air
visited realms where dreams softly cling
dialogued with musings that my heart it would sing
never diminishing my creative flair
for my art is a whisper, not etched in the air
not every journey needs a documented trace, i savour the moments, finding solace, grace
converse with me, i'm an open book, vulnerable pages where emotions often look
i know my truths, shaped by the paths I've trod
a storyteller, navigating the intricate facade
been there, embraced the silent call
danced with stars, felt the rise and fall
i don't need a stage, a spotlight, or a chair
in the quiet, I create, unaware
so converse with me in this poetic mime
i know my shit, the wisdom I retrieve
crafting tales of what i believe
in the realm of creation, find your own climb, create your momentum, in your own rhyme
let the world witness the magic you conceive
or don’t
for your journey, your narrative, only you can weave
​
12.07.24
you can't fuck up whats meant for you, in quiet moments, paths unfold, like whispers in the stories told,
A choice, a turn, a fleeting glance, in every step, a hidden chance.
The sliding doors that shift and sway, reveal the threads of night and day, with each decision, life’s embrace, a dance of fate, a sacred space.
What’s meant for you, the soul's true call, will find its way, despite the fall,
For in authenticity we rise, trusting the heart, we seek the skies.
So step through doors, both wide and small, embrace the unknown, heed the call,
For what is yours will always shine, in love and truth, your stars align.
​
01.10.23
In a world of algorithms and trends so vast, I choose to live my life, my way, till the last. Not bound by others' expectations or their say, I follow my heart, come what may.
I seek not to impress, nor prove a thing, For in my own essence, I proudly sing. In the realm of moments, I quietly dwell, Savoring life's magic, a story to tell.
I wear my vulnerability like a gown, An open book, for all to read, up and down. Know me for who I am, no pretense or charade, In authenticity's embrace, I find my shade.
Ask me for thoughts, and I'll share them with grace, Offering hugs to warm any heart's space. I may be too much for some, that's fine, Let's honor our truths, yours and mine.
Followers and likes, they hold no sway, For I find beauty in life, come what may. I trust in destiny, in the path I stride, Love and peace, forever my guide.